I'm totally on the fence about having another child.
See, there's a lot I want to do in my life.
I've always wanted to get into turntablism/scratching (djing); I've always wanted to travel (I really want to go to iceland and peru and cuba and germany and japan - list goes on) ; I want to paint, write, garden ----- not get a nervous breakdown...
From the way I have experienced the past year and a half since Mia's birth, I really can't see myself doing this ALL over again....
Mia just seems too important to me and I feel like it's taking everything out of me to give her all of myself because of the kind of person I am (sometimes lost in my head, prone to needing my own personal space etc) ... I love her with everything that I have -- I just didn't even think I was ever going to be a breeder in the FIRST place, and now that I've become one - I think one is enough.
but I'm always agonizing over whether or not that is fair to her / selfish of me...
I just feel like I won't be as good of a mother if I have another child...
I'll turn into this:
.... ok I'm exaggerating..
I wouldn't completely lose it like Mink Stole in Desperate Living, but I'd be a mess I think.
O woman, I love love love your blog. I love everything about it,i'm following you.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, my first child will also be my last.
Does this make us selfish? I think it makes us the least selfish people on the planet.
Yeah, we could go out and get knocked up agian. But then we'd lose it like Mink Stole lol.
Now THAT would be selfish.